


Watching over

by Amazaria



Series: Aren't you noble (aren't you tired) [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: But he sure is doing better than Adrian fucking Toomes, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fighting crime at 15 and its consequences, Gen, Hero complex and its brand of guilt, It's just hidden behind the sarcasm and guilt and trust issues, Post-Spider-Man: Homecoming, Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Teen Rated because of swear words, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony isn't the best at the whole "reliable adult" thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-09-27 10:02:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20405899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amazaria/pseuds/Amazaria
Summary: "I come here to think."Tony raised his eyebrows, looking at the desolate neighborhood and the wreckage of a warehouse in front of him."There are prettier places available," he commented in a wry tone, and Peter folded on himself and ducked his head."It's peaceful," he retorted defensively. "And quiet. And it's- it's a reminder.""A reminder?" Prompted Tony, and the kid sighed before raising his head a little."I fought the Vulture here," he said quietly. "He made the building collapse on me."(or: in which Peter has been sitting in the middle of a desolate neighborhood every night for the past three days, and Tony may, possibly, be a little worried.)





	Watching over

"If all we have is time, then we'll be alright,  
It's not much, but it's better than nothing.  
We're running on fumes, but we'll make it through the night,  
[...]

Oh, I'm on fire,  
There's a burning in my bones and in my eyes,  
These dreams they're taking hold, I just need time,  
Time."

EDEN & gnash, Fumes [(x)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8KPX-KPsFU)

* * *

"So, kid," said Tony as he landed as quietly as possible on the rooftop on which Peter was sitting, hoping that the ever-watching eye of the media hadn't noticed him this one time. "Wanna tell me why you've been here every single evening for the past three days?"

Peter startled -a dangerous thing to do when sitting right next to a three-story drop- and turned his head towards the suit, and frowned. His mask was half-off, and the teenager removed it completely in a hurry.

"Mr. Stark! Hi! You're here! Uh- Are you actually here? I mean- uh-"

"You've been graced with my actual physical presence," answered Tony, stepping out of his suit and choosing to ignore the awkwardness. He redirected his gaze towards the wreckage Peter's attention had been stuck on before he arrived. "So? Is this a new villain hideout? Should I be worried?"

"No, not at all!" Peter hurried to say, and then winced at the volume of his own voice, resonating in the relative quiet of the night. He hesitated. "Uh. There's no new villain in New York, as far as I know? I mean, there's still crime, of course, but- uh- no new Vulture, or- or anything like that. As far as I know. Which, I mean, I don't cover all of New York when I patrol, obviously, so there could be something and I just wouldn't know, but- uh. That's not a villain hideout, is what I mean."

Tony nodded, ignoring the rambling with some sort of ease that probably meant he was spending too much with the kid.

"Right. So we're back to the first question, then. What are you doing here on a Friday night, kid? Don't you have something better to do?"

"How did you know I was here?" Asked Peter instead of answering. "I thought you weren't monitoring me anymore."

There was a shred of accusation in Peter's voice, a defensive edge. Tony shrugged.

"You're still wearing my tech, spiderling. I tend to put trackers in my weapons. I learned from my mistakes."

"Oh," murmured Peter, and he deflated. "Sorry."

Tony waved off his apology with a movement of the hand, and wondered if lying to a teenager looking up to you was acceptable when you were doing it for his wellbeing.

(There were trackers in Peter's suit, for the simple reason that the last time there hadn't been, he had crashed a plane.

Tony thought that was perfectly reasonable.)

"So? First question? Chop chop, kid, you might not have a social life but I do. I need answers."

Peter raised his shoulders defensively. He was seated at the edge of the roof, and his feet were hanging in the air; Tony thought that maybe he ought to tell him to sit somewhere, but the kid had super-reflexes and could stick to any surface, so he was probably going to be okay.

"I come here to think."

Tony raised his eyebrows, looking at the desolate neighborhood and the wreckage of a warehouse in front of him.

"There are prettier places available," he commented in a wry tone, and Peter folded on himself and ducked his head.

"It's peaceful," he retorted defensively. "And quiet. And it's- it's a reminder."

"A reminder?" Prompted Tony, and the kid sighed before raising his head a little.

"I fought the Vulture here," he said quietly. "He made the building collapse on me."

(Tony did not dramatically choke on air, but it was close.)

"He- _excuse me?_ You had a building collapse on you? Without the suit? And you didn't say anything? _What the fuck, kid?_"

"I wasn't that badly injured," muttered Peter unconvincingly.

"Oh, well now that you mentioned that unprompted, I'm completely reassured."

"He wanted to stop me from following him to the plane," he explained, like Toomes having some sort of a reason made it okay.

"And so he made a_ building collapse_?"

"Yeah. I was stupid," and when Tony made to protest Peter only shook his head. "I thought his wings were trying to attack me, but he was aiming for the pillars, and- and- and the building went down."

"On you," said Tony quietly, hopelessly stuck on that concept, and Peter nodded decisively.

"It was good, that it was me," he said, and Tony recoiled in some sort of horror. "If it had been anyone else- I'm not sure they would- would have survived."

_I would have, _thought Tony helplessly, and then, immediately after, _I should have been here._

"And you still went to fight him after? Kid, what the hell?"

Peter shrugged helplessly.

"Nobody was going to stop him. People were going to be hurt. I had to."

There was steel in his voice, and he said "people were going to be hurt" like he would have been responsible for each and every injury anyone with alien tech would have caused had he not stopped the robbery, which was so many kinds of wrong Tony wasn't even sure where to start.

("_The bad things happen because of you," _echoed Peter in Tony's memories, and what had he been thinking, throwing this kid into battle?

What had he been thinking, encouraging him to keep fighting? What had he been doing, how many years until Peter got himself killed trying to save someone, trying to save everyone? How many years until Tony had to stand in front of a grave and apologize to another grieving parent?)

"Okay. O- Just- No, okay," said Tony, and he reminded himself to check how many years Adrian Toomes would spend in jail, just to convince himself that murder wasn't actually that great of a solution. "So what are you doing here?"

Peter made a complicated gesture with his right hand, and hesitated before letting it fall onto the concrete.

"When I was stuck under here," he started, shoulders rising and rising like they were the only defense he had against the rest of the world, "there was a moment where I thought- where-" He sighed. "I was pretty scared, I guess," and his faked nonchalance would have been convincing had he not been shaking.

"I was pretty scared," he repeated. "I thought that- that I was going to- well."

Another complicated gesture towards nothing, and the silence hung too heavy between the two of them, like the rest of the city was as horrified as Tony was and had quieted to listen, too.

"And- every once in a while- I come across pretty bad situations. It happens, you know? And I can't do anything, or I _could have_ but now it's too late."

Yeah, Tony was well acquainted with those.

"And I always wonder- I always- were they as afraid as I was back then, when they- when- when-"

_Fuck, _thought Tony, and _what the hell did I do _and _isn't he supposed to be fifteen _and, most overpowering thought of all, _fuck fuck fuck, oh fucking hell._

"I called for help," finished Peter miserably, obviously choking back sobs and maybe something worse, how the fuck was Tony supposed to know? "And nobody came. And nobody came for them, either."

(Wasn't he supposed to be a hero? Wasn't that what he was supposed to stop from happening, a fifteen-year-old crying over the people he hadn't managed to save?)

"That's not your-" _Not your fault, _but when had that ever actually comforted Tony? When had _it's not your fault _made anything better? It happened, and it wasn't your fault, but you were still left with the guilt and the nightmares.

He stopped himself.

"I'm sorry," he finally settled on, hating the emptiness of the words without being able to think about anything else. "You shouldn't have had to-"

_To what? To dig yourself out of tons of concrete? To stare at corpses in empty streets? To be a hero when you're not even an adult? To save people when at your age I was asking myself how to kill them?_

He ended his sentence without actually finishing it. Peter was staring at him, wide-eyed, looking embarrassed.

"No, no- I'm sorry, Mr. Stark, you shouldn't have had to see that- I mean, what am I, an idiot, it's not like I didn't know what could happen-", he rushed to say.

"No, hey, don't apologize. I just- yeah, you can't save everyone. You can only save the tiniest amount of people, actually, and it sucks. It's just- it's been a while since I thought about it."

(_Since I thought about it, _like Tony had processed his emotions calmly like a healthy person and hadn't gotten as drunk as he could the last time the guilt had fallen on him so heavily.)

"So you come here- what? When you feel down?" He said in a desperate attempt to steer the conversation to a marginally safer topic, and also before Peter tried to comfort him like the kid would have obviously tried to do if Tony hadn't stopped it.

"...Yeah," answered Peter haltingly. "Like I said, it's a reminder. If I can spare someone that feeling, that fear, then" -he gestured at himself, suit and too-shiny-eyes and feet dangling in the air- "being Spiderman is worth it."

(It hit Tony again that this kid was a better person at fifteen than most people were at forty, himself included.)

"Yeah, well that's a terrible place. You should choose something prettier, or- aren't boys your age always growing, or something like that? Why don't you go somewhere where there's food? Actually, you know what, let's do that right now. Pick your favorite fast-food or café or restaurant, or, whatever the hell you usually eat at, honestly, I'm paying."

"Wha- but- I can't- you can't- didn't you have something to do?" Protested Peter, obviously taken aback both by the sharp change of subject and the offer.

"Nothing important," he said as he stepped in his suit, and since Friday didn't correct him it must have been true. "So, the address, kid? I don't have all night."

"Mr. Stark, it's 11 PM-"

"Are you telling me you're not hungry?"

"No, I am, but-"

"Then why are you saying no to free food?"

"You can't just _pay for me-_"

"Sure I can, I'm a billionaire."

"No, I mean yes you are, but-"

oOo

(Adrian Toomes gets a package three days later. It's a colorful and glittery card saying "congratulations on being the fucking worst, asshole!"

No matter how much he asks, no one tells him from who it was.)

**Author's Note:**

> Alternatively: in which Tony Stark almost faces his feelings, and hightails the hell out of here before that can happen


End file.
